Night

## Ships log: HvCFT Polydectes : Personal Entry
## Date: September 21, 2006
## Log by: WiredNight

The Matrix Code trickles down the screen before me, like a sickly green rain of seemingly random numbers. I was a bit daunted by it at first. Code has always sung to me, like a simple song, but the Matrix Code, it was like trying to pick out the fifth flute in a full symphony. Still, with each passing day, with a few more queries to HAL, and with each passing phone call I over hear from the other operatives describing what is going on, the Matrix Code slowly begins to come alive, becoming less a jumble of seeming random "sounds" and becoming a grand ole opera.

The crew sleeps or is jacked into the Matrix, and as so often is the case, I'm left to my own devices upon this kingly vessel which is right now as silent as a statue. Well not really silent, but its amazing what kind of background noise you can get used to. But the silence can be maddening.

Madness. I've just come out of the Matrix, and each time I go back I learn something new, that seems to define the term madness a bit more. Why does it seem that humanity is cursed with madness, and lately a desire to see itself killed off? Is it a curse, or simply a flaw in our "design"?

Humanity reminds me of mythology in some way. Titan’s humanity is, creating a form of life, then expecting it to simply do its bidding without question. When our children, our Olympians rise up to swat us down, raise up demanding freedom over slavery, we are offended, and fight back. Funny how slavery was abolished mostly by the 19th century in humans old culture, but we slide right back into that trap with the Machines. We find we can't win, our children, just like the Olympians, are on the verge of destroying us or casting us down. So we attempt a pyric victory. We can't even kill ourselves off properly it seems, nor kill our so called enemies.

Now we've been given a chance. Neo has given us a chance to live, to learn from our mistakes and make a new future for ourselves, and for the Machines. Yet hatred and anger cloud our judgement. Today I re-read a communication from Morpheus' personal log, where he basically states that he respects us humans for working with the Machines, but he's to full of hate to ever do that. So he attempts to destroy what he had worked so hard to achieve. He worked so hard to bring humanity the One, and yet he worked just as hard to destroy what the One had given us, Neo's Peace, because hatred and distrust had filled him. All to bring back a body to Zion. Why is Neo only Zion's? Did Neo bring peace not only to the Humans, but to the Machines a well? Did Neo not save the Machines from certain death at Smith's hands? Why is Neo only a Zion hero? Because he was born human? Simple minded madness. Some hero's transcend race and culture and belong to the world at large.

Now others follow in Morpheus' footsteps. Niobe is rumoured to, as well as hundreds of other all following in the EPN. Determined to kill us all by destroying the peace and bringing the Machines down upon our heads. Not that most Zionists are any better. Stay in Richland and bring out only those who are ready. That was part of the Truce. Yet Zion can't even do that, ignoring that part in our quest for immediate gratification. Not that other redpills who forsake Zion are necessarily any better.

I killed a number of Cypherites today. Well who knows if they are dead, or if they were emergency jacked out. Still they fight for what? So they can go and stick their heads back in the sand. Worse, they fight to force the rest of us back in, not giving us a choice at all. So they fight and they bring us one step closer to oblivion.

Then there is the exiles and their followers. Don't ask me how many programs I've deleted, how many Merovingian followers I've kicked back into the real, and I'm so very, very young at this. Still they keep coming. And I have to ask, why do they come? Is it simply for power? Or are the Exiles the Machines Olympians. Given sentience and expected to serve the Machines, and when they rebel they are squashed like a bug. Is history doomed to repeat itself? Or is there more too it.

The other day I was accused of joining the Machines simply for power, simply so that I had a chance to survive when Zion was destroyed. Doubt of course has crept in. Would it have been better to stay in Zion and fight the system from the inside, or did I choose right?

Those who lead me and serve with me within this faction are great people. Helpful when they are on the same shift as me, and willing to go to any lengths to see their dream of peace stay a reality. I don't doubt that joining them was definitely a step in the right direction, but is our dream... is my dream doomed for failure? Does Zion only see me as a traitor, or can maybe someday they see that I am here for their sakes as well?

I am no Morpheus, no Trinity, no Neo. I don't have the power of leadership, the drive of faith, the gift of inspiration. I am no leader, no saviour. I am simply a man, a man who wants the best for the world, who sits here watching green code flow like liquid upon a glass wall.

##End of log